Just give me a reason
by ThoughtsAreMeantToBeLetOut
Summary: just a little bit's enough, just a second we're not broken just bent and whe can learn to love again.


Lately he's been thinking, what if when Elena returns back to her old self and wants to be with him?  
Does he take her back just like that? After everything that has happened?  
He doesn't think he can do that.  
Don't get him wrong, he loves that girl to pieces and he would do anything to make her happy, but when do you say to yourself enough is enough?  
She's hurt him more times than he can count and he can't take much more.  
He knows she didn't do it intentionally and that it was mostly the fault of this stupid sire bond between her and Damon but he just can't shake the feeling that if they got back together that it's always going to be them **and **Damon, just like Katherine wanted all those centuries ago.

And, he knows, Elena is not Katherine, but he just can't help but think that it's never going to be just her and him again, like it was in the beginning.  
Damon tried to weasel his way into their relationship many times but she was always strong enough to resist him and he was always convinced that her love for him was stronger than whatever trick Damon was pulling.  
But, now he's not so sure.  
There are feelings for Damon inside her somewhere otherwise there wouldn't be a sire bond to begin with and he guesses that's what scares him.  
What exactly does she feel for Damon?  
Is she actually in love with him or do her feelings root in compassion, in an unhealthy desire to make him a better man?

Right now those are question that keep him up at night and she isn't going to be able to answer them until she gets her humanity back and he's not even sure if she can answer them then.  
Doesn't the sire bond get his effect back when she turns her humanity back on?  
Would her whole purpose in life be to make Damon happy again?  
He won't be here for that, he can't be.

He's solemnly convinced that they haven't seen the real vampire Elena at all.  
When she just turned she was so upset and she channeled all of that into hating Rebekah and after that the sire bond came in to play and she hasn't been herself ever since.  
So, what does a real vampire Elena look like?  
How does she act?  
They know that being a vampire enhances your natural born traits so does that mean that the real vampire Elena is extreme compassionate?  
He can't wait to find out, but he's not going to be here to find out.

He'll just rely on Caroline to tell him stories, because he knows they're going to be good.  
He just knows that if she gets the chance Elena can be a really good vampire.  
And Caroline, bless her sweet heart, Caroline.  
He loves that girl a **lot **, she's like a sister to him and he would do anything in his power to protect her, make sure she's happy and safe.  
And, that's what makes it even harder to leave.  
He's not just leaving Damon and Elena.  
He's leaving his best friend behind; he's also leaving Bonnie and Matt who have become close friends as well. In a way it just isn't fair.  
Damon screws everything up, Elena is ruthless and he's the one who's contemplating leaving?  
Why should he leave everything he loves behind?

He has to keep reminding himself that he's doing it for his own good and that it's the best thing for him but why does it feel so wrong?  
He didn't do anything wrong and yet he's the one who has to be the bigger better person and up and leave everything behind.  
He just doesn't know what to do.  
He knows leaving is the best thing for all three of them right now because he's tired of repeating history and he can't be there to watch Damon and Elena be happy for the rest of eternity.

Maybe, after a little while when he has his own life in order he can come back and visit them but right now he can't just stay in their presence for much longer.  
It hurts too much to see the love of his life loving somebody else.  
Well, not right now she isn't, right now she's kicking all of their assess and screaming bloody murder in the downstairs basement.  
Their plan of getting her to feel something at prom failed miserably and she almost killed April and Bonnie that night.  
So, now there on to plan B,  
they've locked her in the basement while they're trying to figure out a new plan.  
Plan C has something to do with fear.

According to Damon he saw fear in her eyes when Bonnie retaliated and tried to kill her.  
He wants to torment and torture her into turning the switch.  
He's not really comfortable doing that, but what other choice do they have?  
He sure as hell doesn't have a better idea at this point and they're getting desperate.  
Every day longer that she stays like this is a day he can't give her back.

So, he truly really hopes that this plan somehow works and she starts to let her emotions back in.  
It's a long hard road and it's not going to be pretty but in the end she'll find it's going to be worth it.  
She can't live the rest of her life without her humanity and the longer she goes without it the worst it's going to be when it comes back.  
Every newbie vamp tries it once, turning of the emotions, but the older you get the harder it is to do.  
It just becomes a trick and you just have to pretend you don't have them.

Katherine once said that humanity is a vampire's greatest weakness, he doesn't believe that.  
He thinks humanity is a vampire's biggest trade.  
He guesses that love is a vampire's greatest weakness; it makes them do crazy fucked up things without even thinking.  
But, in the end there are no 'greatest weaknesses' for a vampire.  
No human is the same and that also goes for vampires.

What can be a blessing for one vampire can be a curse for another.  
Just look at Damon. Damon enjoys inflicting pain on others; he feels no remorse.  
He was like that as a human too; he helped Katherine kill innocent people so that she could teach him how to become a vampire.  
Elena on the other hand was so unbelievably hurt when she killed that hunter, because she's just so compassionate, she feels for everyone.  
He thinks that's why it's so hard to see her like this now.

Without her humanity she isn't a glimpse of the girl she once was and he so deeply loved.  
Don't get him wrong, he loved Elena as a human and a vampire, just not like this.  
He knows she never wanted to be like this and that makes it harder for him to accept the fact that she's become the monster she never wanted to be.  
He guesses that's why he feels the need to stay and get the old Elena back before he leaves.  
All he can do right now is try his hardest to get her back and tell himself that after that he really do needs to move on.  
But, how does one move on without also losing a core piece of their soul?


End file.
